Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.
In my last post I talked about the trust factor. More specifically, I spoke about trusting our decisions, trusting ourselves and trusting trust. I have spent some time thinking on this and decided on an approach that I think will work for me - an approach that I think will help me build back my trust in myself and my trust in trust.
I have always been a firm believer in goals. I like to know where I am heading and I like to plan how I am going to get there. I have never been very good about writing those goals down on paper - but I have always had them in my mind.
The other thing that has been consistent in my life has been keeping a journal. I write every morning for a least fifteen minutes. This keeps my mind sharp and prepares it for the day ahead. In addition to this constant, I also write when I have certain things bothering me. You know, those times in my life when things just aren’t going the way I anticipated they would. This has helped me keep the stress down and has helped me work through problems.
For the next month or so, I am going to try an experiment. It actually will be a seven step process:
- Make a plan. I will keep a written list of long-term plans and refer to them for even the littlest conundrums. Having a written list of my goals, priorities, values and dreams will give me something tangible to remind me of my non-panicked state-of-mind when a quick decision is needed.
- Research. Research. Research. When I am struggling to make a decision and not trusting my choice, it may be because I do not have enough information to make an informed choice. When I bought my last car, I spent months researching different vehicles by reading magazines, books, going to online forums, etc. I should do no less for the harder stuff.
- Be aware of my mood. I will not force myself to make a big choice in life when I am in a funk or if I am wearing rose-colored glasses. I know myself well enough to know that when I am depressed, I am way too pessimistic, and when I am on a life-high, I have unrealistic expectations. I need to wait till my mood is even when I make major choices in my life.
- Accept the unknown. Not knowing what will happen is part of what makes it so difficult to trust. Even though it is difficult, I will try to accept the fact that no matter how much research I do for any decision, the outcome may not go the way I anticipated. I will accept the fact that there are circumstances beyond my control that may make the outcome of any decision different than I thought it would be. Moire importantly, I will accept the fact that if I had made a different decision, that does not necessarily mean it would been better than the decision I made. The outcome of any decision - including not making a decision - is totally unknown until I have lived through it.
- Limit Outside Advice. Once I have all my research, I will not continue to solicit my friends family for more advice. Friends and family may be part of the research that I do, but in the end I have to learn to trust my own inner feelings and thoughts.
- Good Record Keeping. I will keep a journal on my decisions to help me learn to trust my choices again. This will give me a record of all the right decisions that I make so that I won’t get hung up on the mistakes. By having a record of big and little decisions, and being able to see the fact that many times my choices are right, my distrust of trust will begin to fade. Hopefully it will also ease many of the little ‘guilts’ that I have running around in my head.
- Commit to my decision. I tend to often give myself a hard time and beat myself up if things don’t work out exactly as I had planned. Instead of haranguing myself with what-ifs, I need to understand and accept that a choice I made was the best decision I could make, given the facts that I had.
I will let you know, as time passes how this plan is working for me.
Do you have issues with trust? if so, have you worked out a plan to overcome it?
